THE GREEN EYED MONSTER

Jealousy.

     Does reading the word evoke any emotions?

If it does, I am betting you have had your fair share of experience with it.

     It's not a part of my life now but having dealt with it a lot in my past, my reaction is alive and well.  It instills so many tangents, from the roots up. But that is where it starts, all intertwined like branches on a tree of emotion. Untangle yourself............

     Whether you were the jealous one or your partner - or combination of both; the levels of this emotion are only good at breaking a person into pieces. It will beat you down until you feel you'll never get back up. Or it can make you the ugliest companion on Earth. It benefits no one - not singularly or together - and absolutely not a single soul around you!  Getting away from the oppression of all that jealousy brings takes time, energy and endless effort, and maybe a lifetime.


     I learned through the years about what I wanted in terms of a relationship - what I would or would not accept - of them and my own actions or reactions.  I kept my radar on for the red flags.  Even after a second failed marriage, I realized I hadn't been aware of all the warning signs - but in hindsight? I probably did see the selfishness but thought all the other bad things that weren't present made it enough to follow through with.


     So, now, more years have passed, I'm longer in the tooth and hopefully smarter. I was not against matrimony but it was going to take something special.  His name is Dennis. And though this was not a problem, I'd like to share it.

      We were friends at work.  So when we went out socially I never expected him to open my car door. (I told him so. He insisted he wanted to. Fine.)  Also, through years of being friends I had that womans intuition of him having a jealous streak? So during our socializing and eventual dating stage, I kept my radar primed - watching and waiting for the reactions to my interaction with men at stores, work, or bars.  No blips on the screen - nothing. I took it slow anyway then I finally had to ask him straight up. Of course, he could have lied to me, but I decided my reaction would be to believe.

     A few months into the relationship, what happens? Out of the blue, he isn't opening my door.  Having had an honest friendship from the get go, I asked him, "What gives?"  Let me ask anyone out there, how often has this happened in your dating scenes? I know it happened in every single one of mine that ever started with him opening the door! What was the difference this time? I demanded better. I wonder 'why' did I ever let any other suitor off the hook the instant he got "comfortable", "sure he had me", or just plain "lazy"?  (action?)  Dennis and I talked and I explained to him how it felt - because it's not about me not being capable of opening a door.  It's about respect or disrespect.  He still opens the door to this day. Celebrating our 2nd year anniversary next month and more in love than ever.

Our wedding reception.

     What's the the learned lesson here?  To me?  Don't settle. 

     And be willing to look at the number one common denominator = YOU.

"EMBRACE THE GREY"